5 reasons I want to be a house-husband

I am now that age where I have to choose a profession which will etch out the rest of my life. Many a family member including, dutiful parents, responsible siblings, caring cousins and experienced aunts and uncles have offered insights into their respective professions.

But I am not interested in becoming a banker or a teacher or a journalist or an analyst. What I want to be most in the world is to be a house husband. Yes, that’s right a stay-at-home-husband. I want to do the washing, cleaning, cooking, ironing and everything that is generally expected of a wife. Here are my reasons why:

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# 5 – I don’t need a degree

Put away those kitchen knives all you home economics grads! What I mean is as a guy, (a desi guy at that) and like all brown people I’m expected to have a degree or two in business, medicine, engineering or something boring. A degree in the arts will be a threat to my sexuality so that’s the end of my creativity. Besides I am not a fan of traditional schooling – school can only teach you so much and chances are, after the exams are over you‘re never going to remember or use much of it anyway. I’m more of a hands-on person and I reckon I can cook, clean, vacuum, wash, iron without needing a degree. Besides given how expensive university is, why would I want to burden myself with debt?

No sireee! And I’ve seen one too many unhappy people at university – why bound myself with books when I can entertain myself with fairy liquid? The future’s same – a suit or a French maid’s cleaning outfit, either way one’s gotta work.

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# 4 – A happy wife

Almost every guy I know who has a partner has one common problem – a woman who’s always complaining about how they don’t pull their weight around the house. Having observed this problem I have noted the usual issues that plague every relationship, gay or straight – not taking the garbage out, not vacuuming one’s mess, not babysitting enough, not leaving the toilet seat down, not picking up wet towels etc.  The answer is quite simple. What many don’t realise is men are too busy earning bread to do all this. A man comes home tired after pulling a long shift at work and the last thing he needs or wants is to do housework and have a nag of wife bossing him around. Doesn’t do much for the sex life either.

Suffice to say YOU won’t be coming into the world anytime soon.

Therefore I have decided that I am going to have a peaceful marital life and lets face it, the only way to do that is to keep the wife happy. So instead of working a 9-5 and coming home to all those complaints by staying at home, I can do all that is expected of me around the house and ensure the wife isn’t too tired for my treat afterwards *wink wink*!

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# 3 – Shopping galore

Okay guys like to shop too. But we never get a chance because we’re too busy trailing after our wives who insist on taking their partners along. Even though we tell the other half “look I need to go to the apple store” inevitably the only apples we see are the ones Adam took a bite of.  Even if we try to sneak off while the woman tries on the umpteenth pair of jeans, that female radar will hunt us down and heaven forbid if we’ve bought anything… according to them, one teensy gadget is likely to cause a dent in the monthly budget than the 20 pairs of shoes she’s bought (those are supposedly a necessity)! So yes, I would like to do the house shopping thank you very much.

Though our ideas on what constitutes healthy living might differ a smidge.

And for someone who enjoys shopping, I’m only too happy to do the groceries. And when that’s done I can quite easily indulge in my own retail therapy without having a nagging woman along with me, wasting precious time that is far better spent browsing through the latest laptops, mobile phones, ipods, trainers, jeans, cars…

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# 2 – Job security

Given than our entire lives we’re lectured about getting a job, having some savings, buying a house, setting up trust funds for ungrateful kids and so on, job security is almost everyone’s number one priority. And given this recent credit crunch, jobs have become almost a nightmare with people scrambling left, right and centre to find work and reassess their financial status. Why should I put myself through that headache? There’s always going to be demand for a driver, a cleaner, a cook, a babysitter and that’s where I come in! I’m willing to do all that… for free! Hence the missus and I can save up on all extra costs and I won’t need to ever worry about being out of a job. That’ll be the wife’s problem and since I’ll be at home, I can always offer my services as a personal masseur to when holding down a job becomes too much for her. Let it never be said that I am an uncaring, unsympathetic husband.

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# 1 – I’m born to be a parasite

Ali Husain:  I’m the dude playing the dude disguised as the other dude

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Categories: A Shot at Love

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3 Comments on “5 reasons I want to be a house-husband”

  1. Kristopher Holmberg
    December 16, 2013 at 1:51 pm #

    I wonder to be a house husband for only one reason, to raise and teach the children — though I do not deny the above reasons are appealing,

  2. Alliya
    August 7, 2011 at 4:16 am #

    hehe. that appeals to me 😀

  3. rumi
    August 5, 2011 at 10:56 am #

    now here’s a man with a plan 😀 nice article…

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