An appealing prince

The last time that I really looked at Prince William was way back in 1997 when he was walking alongside his mother’s coffin at the age of 14, eyes cast down and little brother Harry beside him. He looked like any average kid who’s gone through a traumatic experience. But he was kind of cute back then and had a head full of hair.  All in all, he looked like a nice kid. The next time that I see him, we are both much older. I’ve grown me some wrinkles and he’s lost himself a head of hair. The cuteness is gone in both of us. He looks like he could do with a nice set of braces. He grins too much. Looks kind of oily.

The world, however, in the course of those 14 years, has gone quite mad. For six months before the actual event, all I saw on TV was talk of his upcoming wedding; the anchors on TV calling the couple “Will and Kate” the way you would talk about your best buddies. All I saw in magazines were pictures of him and his bride-to-be prancing around all over the country, greeting people, mingling here and there. People actually camped out in front of Westminster Abbey the night before to view the much touted event. Girls were yelling out “We love you Will!” like he’s some movie star. Hmmm, methinks, what is it about this guy that is so appealing?? A list of replies comes to mind:

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A regular guy

Nothing appeals to the public more than a celebrity who behaves like a regular, average Joe. If you consider the title ‘Duke of Cambridge’, free tours all over the world and tons of money, regular, then sure, a more regular guy couldn’t have walked the earth. Fact is, ol’ Will tries hard to appear regular. He serves in the Royal Air Force, lives in a small house in Wales, marries a commoner (more on his bride later) plays cricket AND is beginning to lose his hair, just like the rest of us. Hell, he doesn’t look too bad in a beard either.

Right before he was told he’d have to lead the Friday prayers.

That should appeal to all the maulvis out there. He could be the next leader of their pack!  And for your information, Will does other ‘regular’ stuff too; he flies off to disaster stricken New Zealand in the blink of an eye, has a figure of himself at Madame Tussauds, chit-chats with the President and First Lady of the United States etc etc. Just like you and me. Though, I must say, I’m not particularly fond of the jaw which they gave my figure at Madame Tussauds…

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Last Name???

What adds more to the entire ‘princely’ appeal is the complete absence of a surname. Prince William … what? Will Smith? William Allah-Rakha? Very very mysterious, indeed. He used to go by Prince William of Wales and more recently as Duke of Cambridge. But what on earth is the bloke’s last name??? That got me thinking. A google search came up with the answer. Formally, it is Mountbatten-Windsor (if you please). Mountbatten from his grand-daddy, ol’ side-kick Prince Phillip. Windsor from dear old Gran, the Queen. So there you have it. William Mountbatten-Windsor. The mystery is solved. The appeal should end.

Not as long as he continues wearing those uniforms! Bastard!!

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Little Brother Harry

Now here’s a hot little number. Labelled “The wild child” by the media, Harry just oozes sex-appeal. I hope some of it rubs off on big bro Will. At 17, we had the wild child drinking, physically fighting with the paparazzi and partying to his heart’s content. A Wikipedia search shows that Harry was later commissioned as a second lieutenant into the Blues and Royals of the Household Cavalry Regiment (dont ask me what that means, it just sounds damn good). With Harry by his side, Willy boy gives new meaning to the word ‘staid’.

Harry is dashing, wicked and alluring as opposed to William who seems sensible, responsible and safe (somewhat boring???). At the end of the day, a ‘staid’ prince is a good prince and that is what appeals to the public most.

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Diana’s firstborn

It always helps to have a famous mum, don’t it? You kind of ease into the public eye ever since you were born. And this aint no ordinary mum either, like me or the lady next door. It’s Her Royal Highness herself, (ex) Princess Diana of Wales. A legend unto herself. Beauty and brains all in a single package. Who didn’t love her?

I remember I felt like pounding the balding Charles when news of him and Camilla came to light. What a joker! Forsaking the gorgeous and humanitarian Di for a woman who kind of resembles a horse. Anyway, with a mum like Di, who wouldn’t be loved? It pays to be in the right womb!

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He’s next next in line to be … KING

Well. It sounds good in theory. I doubt it’s ever going to happen though. Poor Will. His grandmother (The Queen) is still alive and kicking at the ripe old age of 80 something. Why, she looks downright active and chippy and she’s not conking off anytime soon, I can tell you that. And then there’s Daddy dearest. He’s been waiting around for the crown since forever it seems.  I don’t see him becoming all magnanimous suddenly, laying a hand on Will’s shoulder & saying “Son, you go ahead. I’m stepping aside.” No sir, Willy boy may be in line to be King but methinks he’s not sitting on any throne (except for maybe in the bathroom) until he’s 80 himself.

Or unless he’s  willing to settle for the burger kind.

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Will and Kate

 Romeo and Juliet. Samson and Delilah. Antony and Cleopatra.  Mac and Cheese.  Bugs and Daffy. Will and Kate. Their names will go down in history along with other famous couples and pairings. On April 29th, we witnessed a sight beyond all sights – The Royal Wedding itself (not that I had the energy or inclination to bolt up in bed at 5 am to witness the exchange of loving nuptials). The groom – our very own 8th wonder of the world, William Mountbatten-Windsor (now that we know it, might as well use it!). The bride – Kate  from some obscure village in England. Who – you might ask (only if you are from Mars), Kate who? Uh, Middleton… Duchess of Cambridge now. Comparisons to Di are inevitable and she even wears Di’s ring!!

Why is it that the prettiest girls inevitably end up with the weirdest guys? It’s not like they’re royalty or…

The couple are a hit. From official tours (lucky ducks) to meeting the Obamas to oodles of money and fancy titles, the couple have made their mark. Dear Kat. She’s not exactly a babe, is she? But she has done for William what horse-faced Camilla couldn’t do for Charles. She has raked in more than ever popularity and appeal for the balding prince. The public loves her as she’s one of them. She dresses chic and looks the part of a Queen-to-be.  She talks with the clipped British accent which we all love, looks smart as a button, does her own make-up, wears her hair down and makes The Duke of Cambridge look damn good when she’s on his arm.  We think, with Kate in tow, Will has a winner. Now all daddy needs to do is… step aside and make way for THE FUTURE KING OF ENGLAND.

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Categories: Celebrities, Movies & TV

Author:Alliya Iftikhar

Is still working on a by-line!

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