8 things I hate about women

Women.

We all come across those people who appear to be saints in this dogged world. You know who I’m talking about – those angels who go out of their way to help others, fix unresolved problems, cry for you, fight for you and in some cases even die for you. But every now and then there’ll be a wannabe saint who tries so goddamned hard that it becomes cheesy.

During the floods that hit Pakistan a lot of people were trying to do their bit. But this one particular lady really stuck in my mind. She had started this flood relief project called XYZ (copyright/privacy protection) and was quite proactive about it. SO far so good. Except when we asked her about the fancy name she had decided to call the project the answer we got was something that left me baffled. The name meant “the hand of love”.

Too obvious you think?

Whoever said men are from Mars and women are from Venus knew their shit – they hit the nail on the head when they meant that men really have no clue when it comes to understanding the fairer sex.

So here is my appeal to guys and girls. The lady chose a name that means “the hand of love” – guys really, what do YOU understand by that? Because when we were enlightened by this revelation I had been sitting with my friends, girls and guys. Upon hearing that it was apparent that all the girls’ hearts had melted and all the guys were trying their best to cover up their confusion via nervous laughter and stupid smiles.

As for me, I just don’t get it.. why do girls come up with such cheesy mushy things? I don’t get it, it’s like they aren’t thinking with their head. I mean that name kinda undermined the sainthood of the girl when in reality she was just trying to help. I have no idea what goes through their heads, I guess it’s just a girl thing. But what I do is what I DON’T like about girls. So here goes.

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# 1 – No sense of humour. I am 100% certain that had I cracked a joke about the “hand of love” the girls wouldn’t have laughed. Instead I would have been accused of being insensitive, stupid and immature. When in reality I was just trying to make ‘em laugh. What’s wrong with that?

# 2 – Flirting with the college professors to raise the curve. Of course they’ll say that guys flirt with female professors too, which is the last resort to pass for us. But let’s face facts – girls mess us up in so many ways that its even hard for them to comprehend. Hence desperate times require desperate measures. Meanwhile you girlies ought to put in more time studying than messing with our heads! Maybe then you wont need to flirt.

An ‘A’? I’m sorry those are at best worth a C+

# 3 – Interested in only one set of opinions, her own. I get it – every girl is a princess… IN HER OWN HOME! But even then being royalty or trying to pass off like it does not justify dismissing others opinions. What is with the lack of tolerance ladies? It’s almost like others don’t exist. I bet you wont be happy when I walk past without saying hello… what’s that? It’s rude? Took the word out of my mouth you did – it is RUDE to go on and on without listening to what others have to say. And NO! Everything that every guy says, does, looks at, thinks about does not always concern you.

# 4 – Sharing food and taking it OFF YOUR PLATE? What the hell is up with that? If you’re hungry order extra food or stop pretending to like that salad when you know deep down in your dark heart youre just dying to dig into that thick, juicy steak.

# 5 – Slippery sidewinders. If something is on your mind just say it, us men are NOT friggin mind readers and we hate solving riddles! It’s NOT “romantic”, it’s annoying and a waste of time. ‘Let’s get it over and done’ with should be a lesson taught to every woman out there.

# 6 – Mostly hypocrites. They can gossip and bitch about their nearest and dearest all day long but if you dare to pass a comment on someone they know it’s like you’re a terrorist waging a war against humanity and they are the ambassadors for the UN.

And that dress DOES make you look fat!!

# 7 – Thinking that they are the smarter sex just because us guys won’t argue with them. What’s with the assumption that if a guy chooses to stay quiet that makes him a dud? Fact is, since you’re the one assuming you’re the idiot cos you’re making assumptions and by doing you’re making as ass out of u and me…

# 8 – It’s ok for them to make a mistake. But when it comes to us then it just add to the seven deadlysins, making them the eight deadly sins, which doesn’t make any sense. But then again women don’t make sense!

I can go on and on but the list is endless. WOMEN! Make life easy for us guys and cut out the cheese. The world will be a happier place.

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Sameer Javed spends  most of his time trying to control his homicidal impulses, despite plenty of stimulus from his environment.

Earlier he wrote about how he hates his university… hmmm sensing a theme! You can read that here. 

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Categories: A Shot at Love

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2 Comments on “8 things I hate about women”

  1. Alliya
    October 15, 2011 at 8:39 am #

    Oh come ON Sameer! We have a sense of humour 😀 see my grin??? And slippery sidewinders??? We SO are not!! And hell, everyone knows we’re smart as whips

  2. Farrah M.
    October 14, 2011 at 5:09 pm #

    now why would u say that about us innocent creatures? nice article! i am a new reader of Big Pen and am loving u guys!

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