New Year’s resolutions of the Paki stars

With New Year just around the corner, we thought we’d get in touch with some of the movers and shakers in Pakistan and see what resolutions they’d come up with for the coming 12 months.

After having gone through them, all I can say is we’re in for a helluva year.

____________________________________________________________________________________________


Rehman Malik

1 – Must not say stupid things – people don’t forget; and newspapers actually print them.
2 – Must eat banana on live television to prove it was not an apple.

Sahir Lodhi

Darling, honey, sweetie I don’t need to make resolutions as I am already perfect. Please follow my tits… I mean tips… to becoming Lodhi-fied. And on my best day do you really think there is any competition? I don’t think so.

Let me count the ways I hate him.

P.S. Sharukh Khan is a copycat.

P.P.S. Show the world my softer side.

P.P.P.S. That doesn’t mean my ass.

Veena Malik

Main is saal apnay resolutions nahin dekhaon gi.

Ms. Meera Jee

I resalv to grow younger this ‘ear.

Imran Khan

Dekhain jee this is not my resolution, yeh humari resolution nahin hai! Yeh amreekion ki resolution hai jo unhon nay humaray pey enforce ki hai.

1972 ki constitution main kahan thi yeh resolution? PTI key memorandum main aisi koi resolution nahin hai.

Secondly, hum nay apni saari resolutions declare kar di hain.

Zaid Hamid

This New Year concept is a Hindu-Zionist conspiracy to derail the Muslims from their true goal which is the conquest of all heathen lands. So I plead with the youth of our nation not to fall prey to their deceit and focus on what it is to be a Muslim and a Pakistani. Meanwhile please donate to my organisation so I can continue fighting this shadow war against an enemy only I can see. But trust me, it’s real.

Shahid Afridi

1 – Must ride the wave of popular sentiment – as they have forgotten my previously monumental under achievements.

2 – Come up with new victory pose.
 
Misbah Ul Haq

1 – Don’t play in Indo-Pak matches.

2 – If they force me to play – don’t leave everything to the last ball.

3 – 6 runs are the most I can get off the last ball, must always remember that.

Begum Nawazish Ali

Am I still relevant?

Ex-Ambassador Haqqani

Must stop using Blackberry messenger.

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Categories: Celebrities, Movies & TV

Author:Ali Raza

"Is this the kind of person you want protecting the galaxy?"

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One Comment on “New Year’s resolutions of the Paki stars”

  1. January 27, 2012 at 3:20 pm #

    Lol this was a crackin read – anything about Meera always cracks me up! And i’m glad someone sane can take a good laugh at Zaid Hamid or Imran Khan

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