Things that make ME cry about Humsafar

For those of you who have just woken up from the coma, Humsafar is a Pakistani and totally Shariah complaint version of Bold and the Beautiful with the same amount of incest (totally kosher though) and an equally good looking cast.

The refuse to age variety. Though some should have a ‘Best before’ label.

With it comes a tsunami of passion and emotion in the bodies of the disillusioned masses. And it has taken over the lives of various aunties and
almost aunties. I am willing to bet upon Dr Amir Liaqat’s life that Imran Khan will ask Ashar and Khirad to join PTI to gain the support of depressed and obese aunties. With their forces combined we may just be saved from the clutches of the evil Zionists and ban Coca cola, burgers , Italian coffee and Labrador dogs.

Thanks to Humsafar, crying has become a national past time. Here are a few things that make me shed a tear or two when I get exposed to it.

____________________________________________________________________________________________

1- This nation’s obsession with human misery. Why are Pakistani females (and some strange males) tuning in every Saturday night to watch other Pakistani humans cry their eyes out? Do we as a nation seriously derive pleasure out of other’s pain?

Yes, is the answer. But only when it’s kinky.

Does anyone out there realize that sadism is actually a personality disorder and simply cannot be thought of as normal behaviour?

2- Am I the only one who gets grossed out by first cousins falling in love with each other? Are all females in Ashar’s world dead except for his Phupo ki beti and Khala ki beti?

3- How come the women in this epic soap are either abnormally evil (in a slutty way) or irritatingly pious? Are Pakistani script writers really that inept when it comes to shaping realistic characters?

The two varieties of women.. the Double D and the Double Don’t.

4- And why do all the men let their mothers do their thinking for them?

5- And why does the mother in law hate her daughter in law with a vengeance which is normally reserved for a sworn enemy or a cheating
ex? Isn’t that a bit inappropriate too?

6- HAREEM DOES NOT LOOK FOUR. And she would have probably been healthy had her parents not been first cousins.

7- I heard that an aunty came upto to the actress who plays Sara and yelled “Haraamzaadi tum chor kyun nahi deti us ko?!” (You, evil lovechild
of bastard parents why don’t you leave him alone?) For the sake of this nation I hope this is just a rumour.

8- Seemingly sane women having heated debates over whether Ashar is kutta or not .

ATM: Ass to mouth.

Is it even normal to discuss a fictional character the way you talk about a boyfriend or an ex? And actually getting angry when the next person doesn’t understand him the way you do?

9- Watching Humsafar seems to lower IQ levels and promotes depression and obesity. Not to mention spreads the Ashar obsessive disorder (AOD). How would one possibly treat that? So we should really stop picking on Maya Khan now.

Aw.. is widdle baby gonna cry? Think about THAT before you go moral policing next time punk!

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Categories: Celebrities, Movies & TV

Author:Emaan Mahmud

Emaan Mahmud has been told by her mother that she'll never get a good rishta if she keeps up with these blogs.

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3 Comments on “Things that make ME cry about Humsafar”

  1. September 6, 2012 at 6:03 pm #

    I too hope number 7 is a rumour..
    Plus I loved the Ashar kuttaa or not debate and Asher Obsessive Disorder part.
    Hilarious.
    P.S: I haven’t watched Humsafar! And I am glad that I didn’t =P

  2. zeeshan
    March 5, 2012 at 1:48 am #

    ”Thanks to Humsafar, crying has become a national past time” TRUE.

  3. salman
    March 4, 2012 at 1:04 am #

    at some point you mention ” for the sake of this NATION” . you see, i like satire, and i like satirical blogs too. but you have GOT to understand, there are a bunch of people who are REALLY freekin away from their families, in harsh freekin environments, witht he same problems (even more so) than regular people, but they have to be IRREGULAR because of their jobs, which is to protect this nation. now call me a douche, but i believe THAT is “for the sake of this nation”. lets not make this a cliche that everybody throws around, lest we forget, these people died for us. like REALLY dead….. not breathing anymore wala…. hope you get the point.

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