6 reasons why Pakistani and Saudi women are birds of a feather

If you’ve ever interacted with Pakistani women, you are aware of (and have grown to accept) the strange set of characteristics they all seem to possess. You make mental notes to stay as far as possible from them at social gatherings… (just in case the microorganisms that cause their behavior are contagious) and maybe late at night, you sit & thank the Lord He has chosen to restrict the condition to just a certain region.

Then they wonder why we cover them up.

But what if I told you that wasn’t true? What if I told you that not too far away from the Land of the Pure, in the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia lie women that exhibit similar conditions? They may speak a different language, dress a little different and refrain from using that nasal-voice most Pakistani women reserve for their loved ones, but underneath it all, they are indeed birds of the same feather. Below is my take on some of the similarities in the manner in which women from these parts of the world tend to conduct themselves:


# 6 – They have the same criteria when choosing the perfect girl for their (not-so-perfect) son

“My daughters are beautiful just the way they are. So what if they aren’t fair-skinned, skinny and no Repunzels?! They are beautiful on the inside and that is what matters……for a daughter that is. A daughter-in-law? Give me the Cindy Crawford that my son* deserves.” (*George Constanza meets Govinda).

We’re glad we couldn’t find an accompanying picture… the internet might explode.


# 5 – They believe staring at someone long enough will guarantee them an in-depth look into their soul

Catch them staring at you from a distance and not even trying to be subtle about it? Move on…blow them a kiss…or better yet, stare back. They’re only trying to watch you long enough to ensure they catch you when you. ..yes, that’s right – do something they do not approve of.


# 4 – They have an unhealthy obsession with the ‘evil eye’…

… But only when it comes to their own children.

They are fully aware of the tricks of the trade so they know there’s someone out there doing the same to their own offspring. If you are the child of a Pakistani or Saudi woman, you know what kind of paranoia I’m talking about.


# 3 – They believe all unmarried girls have the right to answer all of their intrusive questions

Failure to do so only means one thing – you are a fishy human-being.

You aquatic bastards!

So what if you didn’t recall signing on the dotted line and agreeing to this grueling interview? You are sharing the air they’re breathing. This information is their right. If you get too clever and decide to deal with the questions with yes/ no answers – trust that they are masters of their art. There is always more than one route to a destination. You’re only making the experience last painfully longer. Just give in. Give it all up.


# 2 – They remember what you wore to the last social event

If they are really kind, they may offer to remind you – in case you forgot. Just another free service they offer that you didn’t sign up for. It’s only because they care. Can’t you see?


# 1 – Say your salaams or say your prayers

Miss them on your Salaam-marathon? Congratulations! You’ve made it to their little black notebook! (not to mention a guaranteed lecture from your mother on the way home).

We couldn’t figure out what picture to use so… kittens!!!

Next time you’re at a social event – do a service to mankind and make a note of whether you notice behavior of this nature in the women present. You never know, the condition could have advanced into regions we are not aware of. The sooner we map out its range – the sooner we can put an end to it. After all, we’re only doing it for the future of our own children.


Hiba Ali breathes sarcasm (& occasionally fire). Tickle her funny bone & she may spare you. 

You can read more of her work over at http://bubbleofblabber.blogspot.com/ or her earlier articles for BigPen, here and here.



Categories: The World I Know


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