Sana Safinaz VS the diamond wearing Marxists

After spending hours reading the comments on the controversial Sana Safinaz campaign, Begum O. Mumtaz decides to join the hip bandwagon and express her distaste over the infamous ad.

The first draft of Begum Mumtaz’s blog – at begummumtaz.wordpress.com

Jaanis, we absolutely must simply boycott the lawn by Sana Safinaz, infact we must boycott their other clothes. Their ad campaign is just so insensitive. As a socialite AND a Marxist, Arundhati Roy and Noam Chomsky specialist. I am so disappointed by their behavior. Don’t get me wrong, I like expensive things too. And I’m a proud owner of many expensive items. Last year I emotionally blackmailed my husband into buying me the Birkin’s bag, almost the same as Hina Rabbani Khar’s bag – now all I need is some Botox and surgery to start looking more like her. Next year, Inshallah.

Though sometimes you can wind up looking like the Na’vi, but less cool.

I am a blessed, well to do woman. I can afford to wipe my equally blessed tush with RS 5000 notes Mashallah. On my sister;s wedding we spent 2 lakhs just for flowers for the Mehndi. I know all the rich and famous people in Karachi. Asif is a good friend of mine. I get full entry to the Bilawal house when he’s in town . But I am also a human right activist, this ad is in violation of human rights . It flaunts the uneven distribution of income . We , as good hearted elitists , must not flaunt this status divide. What if out of jealousy our cooks, driver and various other servants do Kaala Jadoo on us. Or steal one of our many beautiful diamonds?

Yes, the rich are getting richer and the poor are getting poorer but there is nothing we can do about it because this is the way God wanted things to be. All we can do is keep spending our money on objects that make us look rich and remain humble and pious And help our father’s, husbands and brothers earn even more money for us so we can buy even bigger princess cut diamonds. God bless you all. Stay safe. Stay rich.

Meanwhile in a nearby evening newspaper

Never before has something as insignificant as lawn created such an uproar in Pakistan (keep in mind , ladies and gentlemen that by Pakistan we only mean Pakistani fb pages, twitter accounts and various blogs) Lawn exhibitions became a part of our ever changing culture when some designers realized this would be a good way to earn more money and the number of women whose lives centre around the grand purpose of acquiring clothes and jewelry increased exponentially. The latest campaign by Sana Safinaz, which was supposed to be based on the 40’s theme, has created quite the stir. It is a brutal depiction of our society, to say the least and distastefully elitist to say the most.

Atrocious!! Appalling!! Ac…. woah! She’s kinda hot! 😛

Everyone’s free to choose to see it the way they want to. We live in an era where everybody has become a social commentator and a political analyst. We also live in society that is completely obsessed with status, where even the fabric we wear decides our identity. And frozen yogurt makes us cool. Literally and metaphorically speaking.

We can debate about it endlessly whether the campaign was insensitive or simply honest but the only person to actually benefit from this debate is Mark Zuckerberg for all the traffic on facebook this debate has generated. The rest will probably get high blood pressure and other stress related problems. And as for the subject matter of this debate – the coolies and other under privileged people, it is highly unlikely that this debate will be of any good to them.

Social theorists predict that this debate will probably go on for another day or maybe two, after which people will start losing interest in this debate and will then be on the look out for the next controversy they can practice their debating skills over.

All the while, an sms is being floated in the pious pockets of Defence and Clifton…

Sisters and daughters. We, the Muslims must boycott all brands of lawn that promote the female sexuality. All lawn ads that exploit the female body must not be purchased. This American influence must be banned.

Band I say!! BANDDDDD!

A few hours later at Xanders…

Begum Mumtaz appeals to Aunties and other admirers to boycott SS lawn over coffee. Her admirers comprised of various pseudo intellectuals, social climbers, people with a relatively low IQ levels and lastly people with poor judgmental skills, providing her with a never ending supply of ego boosts. And while issuing a liberal fatwa on SS lawn, she felt like God’s chosen one who was going to save Pakistan. And will one day win the Oscar and the Nobel peace prize.

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Categories: Celebrities, Movies & TV

Author:Emaan Mahmud

Emaan Mahmud has been told by her mother that she'll never get a good rishta if she keeps up with these blogs.

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9 Comments on “Sana Safinaz VS the diamond wearing Marxists”

  1. Omer
    May 22, 2012 at 1:11 pm #

    i think its a post only girls can understand :/

  2. March 19, 2012 at 5:53 pm #

    Great Piece ! Thank you for putting to pen , the irony within this debate! It’s interesting to read/hear people getting all self righteous about an Ad and it’s politically incorrect message ,when we as a society , are actively and very comfortably , part of it.

    There is a very real distinction and barrier between classes in Pakistan , and surprisingly , its not just economical – it’s very social. The revolution of respect and social change , for me personally , will begin to show merit and depth , the day , we the educated and more affluent minority, educate by example. The day it’s not a big deal , when our domestic help use our powder rooms or utensils , when we as people meet any other person , stripped of any rank or social status , in the same manner , that we meet and treat our friends and family. That’s real change ,…all this other spitter spatter seems like a lot of bullshit , coming from people who can get their privates waxed from a woman of lesser stature , but God forbid she uses the same coffee cup we drink from !!!
    After 50 or so years , our children’s children may look at us with the same horrific amazement , as we do , when we go though the history of the Apartheid , the Holocaust and more specifically the North/South War in the United States.

    I know that there are many Pakistani’s who are very active in their daily lives, to help people who are less fortunate than them .We are a nation of Philanthropists , at small and significantly large levels – a nation that religious minded or not , believes in Zakat.

    But , socially , we think like monarchs.The peasants , no matter how magnanimous we are to them , in our minds , are still peasants. Pakistan can never be a truly integrated and prosperous society , till we start shedding these prehistoric social values and attitudes.

    I’m not saying I’m any better. I’m not. But I’m not having a temper outrage at a silly Ad , good or bad ,when it merely portrays a reality that exists in our country.

    Ps. If a potential Rishta gets turned off because of your blog , trust me , your the lucky one!!!

    • March 20, 2012 at 4:03 pm #

      glad u liked it 🙂 this divide is very deeply entrenched in our society- if only our govt spent money on public schools and hospitals. the underprivileged ppl’s quality of life and our socio political landscape would have been way better.. apart from that we could also use ‘human sensitivity’ classes for the rich and poor alike – and maybe relaxing yoga techniques for the angry fundos. 🙂

  3. March 19, 2012 at 10:58 am #

    hey eman. Loved it! The thing though about this hoolah is that one would like to see some sort of social consciousness in advertising. And it’s not about worker’s rights etc but how this whole ‘begum culture’ is flaunted/lauded. Even Feeha JAmshed of Teejays shot a campaign to demonstrate the awaminess of her designs. But that campaign was shot on the streets in the most natural way with the model wearing her signature cotton clothing sitting on the floor, on the staircase, at a dhabba and even in the middle of the road. I feel it’s the ostentatiousness of the whole presentation that got people (like myself) riled up.

    • March 19, 2012 at 11:37 am #

      i agree , they should have been more socially conscious. but enough ppl have pointed that out. and following the debate that ensued the thing that started bugging me was that so many people who were fighting the coolies case are the ones who will probably never go out of their ways to help them out. and im really glad you like the piece 🙂

  4. March 19, 2012 at 2:39 am #

    Total win. You’re hilarious.

  5. March 18, 2012 at 1:58 pm #

    This post made me laugh coz we were having a discussion on the whole SS “lawn fiasco” on twitter. I thought people overreacted and it was kinda silly. If they really care about workers rights etc they should stop wearing clothes made in sweat shops, stop drinking coffee which is not fair trade and basically try adopting a spartan lifestyle. People who really believe in causes do not blow money on useless stuff.

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