Twitter: Why you love to hate it!

I don’t like twitter. As the risk of sounding like a dumb blonde, I don’t understand it. Having once described it as being the height of narcissim I decided there and then that I would not succumb to its charms  – but what can I say? Vanity is the most delightful sin one can commit and the idea of having followers (mini-fans in my mind) was just too tempting and I found myself wooed, seduced and divorced from it within the space of 24 hours. Probably the closest I’ll ever get to a Vegas wedding.
Anyway what stuns me is the amount of articles people have read (or claim to). My world consisted of the BBC and Vogue and well… Twitter shattered that for me since I’ve discovered sites that I didn’t even know existed.  But seriously, what is the point? More importantly are people that free? I don’t even work and I think 24 hours are just not enough for me to squeeze is everything let alone sit back on my arse and read every fucking news item out there.
Unless of course it’s about Supernatural… Dean is such a piece of cheese… grooowrrr!!
 Just looking at pretty pictures on Facebook is enough to knock me out, reading seems almost like a curse (and yes, at that point in time, I do envy the illiterate).
Do people even read that much? If so, then why is there still so much stupidity in the world? Or is that proverb “the more you know the less you know” or something like that? And do people take everything they read to heart? More importantly do they make an iota of a difference to people‘s lives?
 Actually considering how Pakistanis are obsessed with politics and the number of heated political discussions over twitter… guess that explains the mad driving on Lahore’s roads.
And those tweets with the stupid word limit. I mean you’ve got parents complaining that their kids don’t talk to them and then bloody twitter just decides to add fuel to the fire by putting a word limit. Brilliant. Imagine a loserly 16 year old sulking over being grounded. He/She/It turns to the virtual world to bitch about it only to be told “NO! NO MORE WORDS!”

Oh Jeez, wouldja lookit that? We’ve just clean run out!

Works wonders for their confidence doesn’t it?
I mean what does one do, say, if you’ve got to copy an inspirational speech for the world to see (not because you want to show off your reading skills but because you’re suffering from a strange bout of kindness)? You write it tweet by tweet?
 Fuck that shit!
What also gets me going is the constant competition. I am sick of competing. Have been doing it since the day I was born. Who can write the wittiest tweet, who can compose the coolest sentence, who can post more articles, who can get the highest number of followers… bloody hell! Its like going through school all over again except this time there’s no one to guide you except Google.
And the followers thing really doesn’t help – initially all my followers consisted of people who were linked to some lose-weight easily twitter site or how-to-look-beautiful page. Not exactly the kind of peeps you want attached to your profile especially if you’re trying to make it to one of those “TOP TEN TWITTER ACCOUNTS TO FOLLOW”.
Yes, Twitter will take all your children from you… so pay up front bitches!
So more often than not I find myself turning to Facebook. It’s so much more kinder. One can put up a long status and the best part is that someone, SOMEONE out there will respond nurturing your bruised-from-twitter ego where no one replies unless you happen to have more than 500,000 followers. Either someone will ‘Like’ it or comment on it which is so rewarding because its instant gratification and yes, very confidence restoring as well.
Will I give up on Twitter? No. Why not? Because I figure since I’ve taken the plunge I better go with the flow. Will I give up Facebook? No. Why not? Because I’ve got an album to put up. And I could do with some virtual loving.


Categories: Science & Tech

Author:Mehr F Husain

Mehr F Husain was Features Editor of The Friday Times. She lives out of a suitcase.


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4 Comments on “Twitter: Why you love to hate it!”

  1. December 22, 2012 at 3:09 am #

    whoah this blog is great i really like reading your posts.
    Keep up the good work! You already know, many people are looking around for this information, you
    could help them greatly.

  2. April 9, 2012 at 7:57 pm #

    By the way I discovered your site through twitter and I receive an email from Big Pen each time there is a new thread on this website. I opened my twitter account in 2009 and realized its not my cuppa tea, because I cannot cage my thoughts into that tiny window where I am not allowed to go beyond 140 characters, hence my profile on twitter says:“Obscurus fio. i.e., when I labor to be brief I become obscure.” I got put off in no time and went back to my blog.

    A few months ago I was literally dragged by my cricket friends to join them on the twitter while we watch the live matches and comment simultaneously. Its fun doing that, apart from that its all pride, vanity, dumb celebrity followers, stupid urls, surveys and questions from Meeraja, Veenaji, Zinta, Dixit etc., etc., who are in fact dumb blondes and they hardly follow anyone and still have hundreds and thousands of followers. Like someone on the twitter said, “follow the brain and don’t be a cunt follower” its so true. And, men should not stoop that low.

    I seldom use 4 letter words in my blogging or tweeting but reading your blog and seeing how much you love to use the F word had prompted me to use the C word. Actually I have quoted it. And, someone else here, an 18 year old girl from Islamabad, studying in the UK wrote a blog after PK won the Asia Cup and it was like an exhibition of fcuk. Anyways its not that important.

    Recently when someone mentioned about Ali Zafar and me being a dimwit dolt asked who is he? At least a dozen eyebrows were raised ^ ~ as if I am pretending or I am such a naive dork who lives in Timbuktu. And, that is because moi je suis Quebecois not much in contact with my homeland PK.

    Liked ur blog, keep writing.

  3. April 9, 2012 at 11:40 am #

    Finallly someone said it!!!!..its time to come outta the closet, fellow anti-twitterati’s unite!!!:P
    hmmm so how do we coordinate?:P

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